Saturday, August 7, 2010


Yesterday I wrote on wives, and to be fair today I will write on husbands.  Yesterday I began with a lie in society about the stronger smarter woman and the buffoon man.  Unfortunately, men have bought into this as well.  Men, God has ordained you to be leaders in the church and in your home.  As we saw yesterday, a wife is submissive to her husband and therefor accountable to you.  As the leader, though, its more.  She may be accountable to you, but you are accountable to the Lord for her.  You, man of God, are the leader and the buck stops with you.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28 NKJV
We are given a command to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Do you realize what that means?  The entirety of God's Word can be used to show how Christ loved His church as every Word of Scripture ultimately points to Christ.  So, first of all, if you are to love your wife as Christ loves the church, you MUST be in the Word.  If you are not reading the Word everyday you are not loving your wife because you are not learning how.  How can you say you have a desire to love someone when you do not take the time to learn how?

He gave himself for the church that "He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish"   No you can not sanctify your wife, but you can live your life as her example.  Christ lived as an example for the church, and you must live as an example for your wife.  Do you initiate prayer or wait for her? Are you up and ready for church or is she dragging you off to church?  Does she look to you as an example of holiness and righteousness?   If you fail your wife in these areas you are failing your wife as her leader. Just as Jesus gave up himself for the purpose stated above, God has entrusted you with his daughter to raise her up in Christ. 

Christ was the church's teacher.  Are you your wife's teacher? Does she come to you when she has questions about the Bible or her faith in general?  Does she respect you as a teacher?  Do you share with her the things that God has put on your heart?  Do you, again, study the word each day to be able to fulfill your God-given role as your wife's spiritual leader?

Christ was the church's example.  Christ was not a leader who led by dictate but one who led by example.
So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, "Do you know what I have done to you? "You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him."  John 12:13-16 NKJV
Jesus, as our example, humbled us His followers.  If our Lord is not too high to do the lowliest of tasks as an example to his disciples, should we ever think of something too low for us to do for one another and especially your wife.  You are to live as an example to her, not just giving dictates from some supposed throne you have but by example, by joining her in the things you expect her to do. Its not your place to command and dictate and expect things to get done.  We, as Christians, do all things through Christ who strengthens us but do you husbands strengthen your wives?  Do you help her with the children or expect her to handle it all? Do you help her keep the house clean or sit down on the couch after work and expect to be waited upon?  A Godly leader leads not dictates. 

Husbands you have been given authority over one of God's precious daughters. Do not take that lightly.  The Bible is clear and I have shared before that to whom much is given, much is required.  You were given something precious to God and you will be accountable for what you do with that gift.  Also understand that as the leader the bucks stops with you.  Does your leadership inspire your wife to submit?  And while she is commanded to submit whether or not she is inspired to does not mean that you will not be held to and even greater account as the negligent leader.  

Men you need to love your wives. Not just spiritually, but also physically.  I shared this verse yesterday.
Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.1 Corinthians 7:3-5.  NKJV
Other than Father, the most important thing to Jesus was his church.  Other than God, the most important thing in your life needs to be your wife.  Jesus put those words into action by suffering and dying for the church.  You need to put those words into action by not just what I have written so far but by "rendering the affection due her."  If your wife needs affection, nothing in your life should be more important than giving it to her.  You need to turn off the TV, put away the video game, turn off the computer, or be done with whatever it is you are doing and listen to the Word of God and give that attention to your wife.   If any of those things come before your wife, understand you are disobeying God and will be held accoutable.  It is His daughter you are hurting.  He thought she was valuable enough to die for her sins, do you think she is not more valuable then a game? Oh should you not have to stand before God and give an account for that!

So husbands, if you want a happy marriage follow God's Word and embrace that call to lead your family.  Love your wife as Christ loved the church and not just with empty words but with how you treat her.  Be the man God has called you to be.  Being anything else is hindering God's blessing upon your life.  Let God bless you. Follow His Word.
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 NKJV

1 comment:

  1. It's a good Word again, my Love. Inspiring and challenging. I pray that this reaches people who need that "swift kick in the pants", I hope that we can inspire others to stop by and read.
    I love that you know your role and that you have stepped into it so well. Thank you for being my leader and my partner.