Friday, September 30, 2011

There is an 8 in 10 Chance Your Christian Daughter Will Have Sex Before Marriage


Today is another busy day so today will be another quick message, though not a light one.  This week, a study was released showing that 80% of unmarried Christian adults aged 18-29 have had sex before marriage.  This is not all that much lower than the 88% of unbelievers who also had sex before marriage.  First the good news, the study does not discern whether the Christian had sex before or after their conversion of if they grew up in the church or came to Christa at a later age, but the bad news is that probably would only lower the number a few points.  This number should shock parents. I know that even the best parents can have children who rebel, but the fact is the the percentage is so high, that even then this is a shocking number.  What this shows is that by and large parents are failing to ensure their children are brought up in Christ and that those values are not taught and modeled to them.  Ultimately, it is the father who bears the responsibility for the behavior of his family as God gives that responsibility directly to fathers.
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4 NKJV
So what is causing our children to fall into sexual sin in such large numbers?  I think that several things to blame.  These are things that I have addressed in previous blogs so let us take this brief message to review those factors that affect our children.

One reason is the influences we allow into their lives.  What television shows and movies do you let them watch?  Even those so-called innocent shows on Disney show teen dating and romance.  Children who watch them learn that dating should be normal at very young ages.  Quite honestly, though, it is not.  Children who have not even gone through puberty should not be dating.  Even when I was in school, I remember at ten years old that friends of mine were already dating.  I am sure it has gotten no better now.  If a child begins dating at such a young age, as he or she gets older they will push the envelope more and more to keep things new and exciting to them, eventually leading to fornication.  Do you allow you children to play sexual video games?  Your 10-year old child should not be playing games rated M or even T.  Video games area not nearly as abstract or crude as they were when we were younger.  Now they are quite graphic and realistic.  Do you send your children to public school?  If so then they are surrounded by that worldly influence all day every day.  If you expect that not to have a strong influence on your child, then (and I mean to put this bluntly and if it offends you then so be it) you are exceedingly ignorant.  What friends do you allow your child to spend time with?  Are they friends you can trust to be positive examples and are their parents positive examples?  If not, then you are allowing your child to again be exposed to negative influence.  I can guarantee that peer pressure is one of the biggest reasons for these shocking statistics.  If you child is in a crowd of worldly friends, your child will grow more worldly.  If your child's friends are having sex, your child be under enormous (and usually irresistible) pressure to do so as well.  The fact is that the message of the world is that sex is a normal part of dating and that there is something wrong with someone who does not have sex before marriage.  If you allow your child to grow up under that kind of influence, then your child will be one of the many who do have  sex before marriage.

The other reason, and even more important one, is your influence.  Even if you bring your child up in the training and admonition of the Lord, do you live it yourselves?  If you model to your children that following God is negotiable depending on the circumstance, then your child will have that same mindset.  If you do not obey, they will not obey.  If you do not live righteously, neither will your children.  This is a proven fact.  Children of abusive parents generally become abusive.  Children of parents who abuse alcohol are more likely to abuse alcohol themselves.  Children with temperamental parents often become temperamental.  Children of sinful parents will be sinful.  Children of parents who compromise their beliefs will learn that whatever lessons their parents teach them are good only when convenient.  Children of worldly parents will be worldly.  This is a truth you can not get around.  If you want your child to be grow up Christian, then you have to model that behavior.  You should not be seeking some worldly or even Christian role model for your children, God has given you that job.  God would not have  given you children if He was not going to empower you to fill that role.  If you are failing in that role, you only have yourself to blame.  Usually, children grow up to be much like their parents.  When you look in the mirror, that is a large part of who your child is going to be.  You really need to ask yourself what kind of role model you are being for your child.

Parents, you are war with Satan for the soul of your child.  God is on your side, but you have to work with God to protect your child.  You can not undermine the work of God by allowing Satan's influence into their lives or by modeling behavior counter to the work that God wants to do.  You are being reckless with the souls of your children and you can not expect God to reward your recklessness or disobedience.  Life is not an auto pilot magic carpet ride where all we need to do is close our eyes and wish bad things not to happen to our children.  Life is a series of choices where we can either follow God, our selves, or the world.  If we willfully steer ourselves into a wall, we learn no lesson if God removes it to prevent us from hitting it.  We only lean when we crash into it.  We only learn when we realize the consequences of our poor decisions.  Please, before learning the hard way, take the time now to submit yourselves, and your children, to the Lord.  Someday your children will be in charge of steering their own lives and they may hit a few walls themselves.  Unfortunately, that can not be prevented.  But I can tell you this, they have a much better chance of making it through safely if you teach and show them how to live under the training and admonition of the Lord.

I close today with a verse.  Normally when you read this verse, you think of other people and influences.  Today I want you to read it and think of yourself as a parent.  What kind of company are you to your child?
Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good habits." 1 Corinthians 15:33 NKJV

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